Dear Winry
by QueenBeatsAll
Summary: Even after marriage, Ed still continues to surprise Winry, this time without even knowing it.
1. Stash

**Disclaimer: Nope. Just the messages.**

**This is just an idea that sprung into my head after re-watching the 2003 series, particularly the Nina episode when Ed was writing a letter to Winry. This is going to be somewhat of an introduction. (The story is set post-Brotherhood when Winry and Ed are married before children.)**

**Enjoy!**

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Winry gasped as she stared at the pile of papers that had just poured out from Ed's old suitcase. She had been cleaning out her husband's childhood room while he was out getting groceries for her, and had been curious as to what all he used to keep in his traveling case. Obviously the necessities, but when she found a secret compartment, obviously transmuted from the leather, the mechanic couldn't resist. Instead of finding what Winry thought would be some kind of resolve reminder like his State Alchemist watch, she was shocked to find it spilling with tons of pieces of paper, ranging from the size of little reminder squares to whole sheets of the stuff. Some of them were napkins, or notebook paper, or the creamy expensive kind from military offices. Some were just torn off pieces from who knows what, since they had broken up sentences on the backs of them; a couple were sheets ripped from a journal belonging to who knows who. However, they all shared a similar trait: scribbled at the top left corner of every one was a "_Dear Winry_".

A sudden anger boiled up inside of the young woman._ So he never called or visited, but he wrote all these letters?! And he didn't even send them! What the hell?! _Sifting through the paper, Winry found that there was at least a hundred of them, maybe more. And then, the anger dissipated as quickly as it had come. _So he really hadn't forgotten about me.._The mechanic couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't told her about these yet, but her question soon answered by herself. Ed had never been the sentimental type. There's no way he would ever confess to writing a bunch of letters to his childhood friend and now, wife. A hand went up to her mouth as Winry giggled at her husband's childish behavior that had never ceased even in adulthood when it came to emotional things.

The automail engineer had always been naturally curious, and had already picked up several of the papers, stacking them as neatly as they would go into her arms. She tried to get as many as she could before hearing the door slam closed in the living room downstairs, followed by a loud "I'm back!". Eyes widening with alarm, Winry quickly stuff the rest of the papers haphazardly into the secret compartment, shoving the suitcase in the little crevice between the bookshelves before taking her collected papers and hurriedly stowing them away under her bedside table in their shared room. Not waiting for an answer, Ed had already called out that he was starving and that Winry needed to get downstairs to make dinner.

Huffing in annoyance, the former Rockbell grabbed her wrench and bounded down the stairs, ready to make Edward pay for his stereotypical proclamation. And she wondered how this was the same Ed that wrote all of those letters. _Letters..._ Her thoughts did not leave the stash under her night table all night. The stash that would soon be explored thoroughly.

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**Sorry to have such a short first chapter, but after this one, the chapters will be about reading the letters themselves. Just to get the ball rolling, I'll probably have the first one up and posted by tonight, and I'm going to try and update every day, even though sometimes that might not happen.**

**More to come!**


	2. Exam

**Disclaimer: Nope. Just the letters.**

**Here it is! As promised! Before midnight! Also, I forgot to mention: some of the earlier letters will have been written in a time in FMA instead of FMAB, but they should start being strictly Brotherhood moments by episode ten of FMA. Enjoy!**

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Winry Rockbell was thoroughly exhausted. There had been more patients than usual today, including Ed, who had somehow managed to break the shin plate off of his leg when he was out fixing the roof. If that weren't enough to thoroughly tick her off, he had also forgotten to fix the water heater due to the aforementioned roof incident, leaving Winry to have a quick, unexpectedly cold shower. Somewhere in her mind, she knew it wasn't entirely Ed's fault, but she wasn't going to admit to that. Instead, Winry had opted to go to bed earlier than usual so she could start reading those letters of Edward's while he was out visiting the people in town. Thankfully for her, she knew that the rare times her husband did go to town to cool down after on of their many, trademark arguments, he didn't come back for at least an hour, being that the roads were so long. The only reason she didn't miss Ed at the moment was because of her hidden treasure waiting upstairs.

As soon as the former alchemist was out the door, Winry had bounded up to their room, eyes already set on the point where she had hidden the stack of letters just a couple of days before. Swiftly pulling one out, she unfolded the two, old pieces of notebook paper with care and positioned herself on their bed with her back against the pillows and wall and he feet out in front of her. Soon her eyes settled on the rough handwriting.

_Dear Winry,_

_I finally got my State Alchemist certification today. Al wasn't able to, since he's hollow and he wouldn't be able to say why on the required physical that I had to take. It seemed like a waste though, since we both studied at this Tucker guy's house night and day. _

_Oh, yea. Apparently, there turned out to be a written exam for the first phase, so we had to stay at Shou Tucker, a state alchemist's, house. It's huge and awesome! He's also got a daughter named Nina and a big stupid dog called Alexander. The stupid animal keeps tackling me and pretty soon I will get my revenge! Speaking of those two, we had a little bit of a break and played in the snow the other day. Snow, Winry, snow! You remember that one time it snowed a ton in Resembool and we all had a huge snowball fight outside? And then, when we transmuted that snowman and everyone stood around gaping at my awesome talent? Well, anyway, it snowed, and me and Al and Nina and Alexander all went out and had snowball fights, just like back then. It was kind of nostalgic._

_Anyways, on the exam I didn't even finish the last couple of questions, but Al finished them all with five minutes to spare. Five freaking minutes! I got one-upped by my little brother, Winry! What the hell?! And I'm pretty sure we studied the same amount too.._

_Then, after the written exam was the interview, where we had to sit on this weird three-legged chair to see if we were a "true alchemist" or whatever. I didn't really get that part. Some old guy with an eye patch was asking the questions, and, of course, the first question he asked me was why I had automail, so I just told them it happened in the Ishvallen War or something. It was pretty awkward._

_Then, there was the final part of the exam where we had to bring research or do something on the spot. Obviously, I didn't need to bring anything so I just went in empty-handed. Turns out it was my lucky day because some idiot made a balloon out of paper and hydrogen and somehow got it caught on fire, so I had to jump in and save his sorry ass by turning the paper into a bunch of flowers. Honestly, I thought it should have been something more manly, but whatever. In the end, I was the only one who ended up passing the whole State Alchemist test._

_Everyone was making the thing out to be some kind of mega test, but for me, it was too easy. The examiners were surprised to see what a great alchemist I am. Well, I could easily guess the end of the sentence, so it wasn't surprising for me. But since you know that too well, I guess it was pointless to tell you that I passed._

_So, yea. Just thought I'd update, even if I might not send this to you._

_Later,_

_Ed._

Winry couldn't help but laugh. She had always known that Ed's ego was still huge even at the age of twelve. The fact that he even expressed it in his letters was just so..so _Edward._ She really couldn't understand why he never sent it though, since it didn't seem to be anything that he wouldn't say in person. Well, maybe except for the part about being "one-upped by his little brother". Still, the mechanic considered the letter adorable. Noting the few scrunches on the paper's edges, she had noted that Ed had probably had a hard time sitting still and writing for so long. It was another slightly adorable thought.

Ed really could be very sweet if he tried.

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**Hopefully I managed to shake up some fluffies for you guys! However, there will be much fluffier ones to come, since I had to base this letter off of a twelve-year-old. I even paused the screen while watching FMA to get some exact wording in there. Anyone who can comment the fastest of which part of the letter that was will get to make some suggestions for later letters to Winry :)**

**To be continued!**


	3. Family

**Disclaimer: Nope. Just the letters.**

**Back with the next one :3 Also, the mini-contest for the episode excerpt in the last chapter is still going on, so hurry up and comment!**

**Enjoy!**

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Winry carefully replaced the two pieces of paper after grabbing another, smaller sheet from the hidden pile. This sheet was thicker, and without lines; it was colored an off-white. She guessed this must have been when they were at a military headquarters, since the paper was so formal. However, standing out like a sore thumb, was the familiar, terrible penmanship of the twelve-year old State Alchemist.

Although most people just teased him for it, Winry couldn't help but feel it was her fault. Ed had had such smooth handwriting before he lost his writing arm and got it replaced with automail. However, even if he replaced his arm, his ability to write with it was almost non-existent. So, naturally, Ed had to learn to use his left hand to write. Then people started teasing him and she could help but feel guilty. If her automail had been better, he could have written with it.

_But now Ed's arm is back. It's fine._ Winry told herself, smiling and returning her thoughts to the letter in front of her. _Letter.._ It was still hard to place Edward with that word.

_Dear Winry,_

_Something horrible happened..I told you about that bastard Tucker, right? Well, get this - he used Nina and Alexander to transmute them into a talking chimera! I knew there had had to be a reason why he was so reluctant to make one again! It's because he used his own wife two years ago to make the first talking chimera! And just because he wanted to keep his State Alchemist certification so he could keep his giant ass house instead of his own family! Aren't big houses for big families, Winry?_

_And the worst part was that I couldn't even save her! She was right in front of me, and I could save Nina! All I could do was beat the shit out of her dad, who, even after he did that to her, she still defended. All she wanted to do was play and be a normal kid! And, to be honest, while we stayed with them, I think... I also felt like a normal kid. But, at least me and Al have a chance to be normal again. But Nina can't be turned back! She's stuck as a chimera forever and she'll probably never get to play again! She'll probably end up as some lab specimen or something! I don't know what to do, Winry. Nina is a chimera and it's all my fault! I couldn't save her from her psychopath father, who only wanted money and material good over his family!_

_Isn't family the only thing you have left when everything is gone? Isn't family the most important thing?! Al and I burned down our house, but we still have each other. I lost an arm and a leg, and Al lost his whole body, but we still have each other. How could someone just waste their family like that?!_

_I don't know what to do._

_- Ed_

Winry was almost tearing up. Edward had told her about the little girl Nina after the incident with Barry the Chopper, but he had only stated facts. She had known he was hiding something, but she didn't realize how much he had blamed himself for it. Looking back, Winry felt a bout of anger rush over her at the man called Tucker. He was throwing his family away while Ed and Al would have done anything to get their family back together! The mechanic found herself gripping the paper a little too hard in her hands, and wrinkles were starting to appear around her thumbs. She let go of the paper, leaving it to fall into her lap.

Winry had always known Ed to be a genius and quite the philosopher, even at a young age, but she knew that at twelve he shouldn't have been able to have such insight to family. Those things were supposed to come with age and experience.

All Ed had was experience. A horrible, scarring experience.

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**I didn't really like this one, since Winry was a little OOC towards the end; I couldn't really find another way to put it though, so... :P**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it more than I did.**

**Until tomorrow!**


	4. Remember

**I'm sooo sorry for the wait! My computer was acting up and I couldn't get on the internet with it XD So, without further ado...**

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Winry was pissed. Edward had been a complete jerk all day, and she had told him to get off his rag, which had led to another heated argument. Wrenches were thrown, insults were made, and things were said that shouldn't have been said. Plain and simple. In the end, Winry had gone down to the basement to work on automail and Ed had gone for a walk. It wasn't unusual, but somehow Winry felt that they're relationship could end if these arguments didn't at least become a little less frequent.

The mechanic always tried to cool down by working on her beloved job, but ever since a couple of days ago, she had obtained another way to blow off steam.

It helped to remember that the Ed who was on a walk was, somehow, the same one that wrote the letters what seemed like decades ago. Not that the present Edward couldn't be sweet, but it just showed better in writing. One letter in particular had been a great help on stressful work days, and Winry had almost memorized it because she read it so much.

Upstairs in inside of their room, taped on the bottom of the middle drawer in her night table, was the best letter she had read yet.

_Dear Winry,_

_It's so quiet around here at night. I mean, yea, Al's here, but...he's always here you know? Plus, this stupid inn is really dark, since apparently people in Ferrel haven't gotten ear of freaking electricity. _

_Anyways, I was just kind of wondering what you're up to. All we've been doing is uncovering one dead-end after another, and to be honest, I'm starting to lose hope. I mean, how can we be even sure that it exists if all we ever hit are dead ends? Every night I just keep thinking about how every dud we get is another way that I can't fix Al. I know he doesn't say he's disappointed, and he always acts so optimistic, but deep inside I know he's feeling just as hopeless as I am. _

_And then I think about how when we were little, Mom would always cheer us on if we hit a wall in alchemic studies. And then I think about how when we would keep the secret of bringing Mom back away from you if you asked, you wouldn't press on the matter. And then, when I had to get automail and go through rehab, you didn't doubt us for a second that we would get back on our feet and gain what we lost._

_Yea, Al and I have always been together and I don't know what I would do without him, but he's in the same position I'm in. Sometimes we can't cheer each other up by ourselves and I just get depressed. I can't help but doubt that I'll ever get Al's body back._

_But you never doubted us. I miss that feeling of being silently pushed on._

_I miss you, Winry._

_-Ed_

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**How's that for angst-tinted fluffies? I hope it was as good as I planned it out in my head, since this story is basically a training thing for writing more emotional pieces. Please tell me what you guys thought!**

**Until tomorrow (definitely)!**


	5. Party

***GASP* Four favorites?! Already?! Sixteen followers?! Already?! TWELVE REVIEWS?! ALREADY?!**

**I just wanted to thank everyone who has followed, reviewed, or even just read this story, and I want you all to know that your reviews and follows mean the world to me!**

**Also, for the next few days (or even weeks), my approximate update time will be around 7-9 PM, Central Time. Just a heads up :)**

**Enjoy!**

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It had been about a month since Winry found the letters and she still hadn't told Ed about it. Naturally, she felt bad about keeping a secret from her own husband, her best friend; however, at the same time, the mechanic couldn't help but think that it was for the best. Just thinking about the kind of reaction Ed would have gave her a headache. There was no telling what would happen if he ever found out about her reading the not-so-secret letters.

And Winry had to admit: her mood towards Edward had definitely improved ever since discovering the stash. More evidence of this new development was the fact that Winry had been able to persuade Ed into going to Garfiel's dinner party in Rush Valley for the weekend without starting an argument. That had to count for something, right?

The night of the party, Ed had been irritable, as silently predicted by his wife. It had taken him about twenty minutes to change into his suit, and another ten to fix his hair, mainly his "oh-so-coveted" antennae. Sometimes Winry wondered if Ed was actually a teenage girl with a muscular build.

Things had gotten progressively worse as the evening wore on. In the car, Ed wouldn't stop trying to loosen his tie and Winry eventually had to use threats to keep it on his neck. All of the times she had followed through with her threats had finally paid off, because she hadn't brought her wrench in the car with her and she didn't need to have her bluff called.

When they had arrived at Garfiel's workshop and home, Ed had only said one thing so far: "I swear, if he makes one comment on my ass, I'm out of this freak-show." To this, Winry had scathingly replied with a: "If I get one inappropriate comment out of you, I will tell all of these people that you still have your automail arm." To this, Ed had replied with a muted side-glare.

When they had walked in the door to Garfiel's, Winry had gotten a sudden thought.

There had been a memo-like letter that she had read a few days ago telling about Ed's hate for get-togethers..

_Dear Winry,_

_I swear to Truth, this is why I can't go to parties!_

_Stupid Hughes dragged Al and I to his dinner party and I didn't know anybody. ANYBODY. I don't know how the hell Hughes has so many friends outside of the military, but all I can say is that the only people from the military (that I knew of) were Fuery and Breda, since they were caught in Hughes's trap as well. So, with that being said, it was really, really, really fucking boring. I was also offered alcohol at least five times, and people were asking all about Al's body too. The best cover we could come up with on the spot was "it's a hobby". People looked at us strangely the whole night, and I didn't even fucking know them!_

_Also, he made us stay there until at least one in the morning and we had a train to catch at 5:15._

_Then, I've got this food poisoning problem. I haven't stopped throwing up for at least a day in a half. _

_Fucking Hughes._

_-Ed_

A sudden giggle erupted from Winry as she thought about the letter. _Poor Ed._ She thought, amused._  
_

It seemed as though she had given him another reason to hate parties, though, since the automail fanatics that had been invited were already swarming the former State Alchemist.

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**I had a sudden thought for this one, since I realized that Ed and Al almost never did anything fun with other people, especially parties.**

**Don't be afraid to tell me what you think!**

**Until tomorrow :)**


	6. Drowned

**I finally set an approximate update time and I'm _still_ late. Sorry about that, though. Band camp and horse lessons have been running rampant lately.**

**Enjoy!**

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_Dear Winry,_

_I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much. Way more than losing a few limbs ever did. __Al hates me now, I'm sure. I hate myself too. I really fucked it up this time._

_The other day, we were on a train on our way to some little town on a lead trip; our most promising one yet. Of course, there were hijackers on the train, and we got involved. It was an easy fight, but somehow one of them got behind me and managed to stab me close enough to the heart that we had to go back to a hospital and eventually East Command. Apparently, they had been targeting me since they thought I might have already gotten a Stone from our travels._

_We had to stay at the Eastern hospital and Command for weeks before they let us go, since apparently the injury was fatal. Al was stuck sitting around with me, and we were making no progress in our search._

_Then, someone got news of how I was hospitalized, and how Al wouldn't be accompanied by me for a while. When he was walking in town on an errand run to keep him busy, a bunch of people jumped him. I don't know why they would, but I guess if we're so famous we must have people that hate us as well. Obviously, Al held them all off just fine, but one of them got a look inside of his armor and saw it was hollow. The guy kept calling him a freak and a monster before he ran. No doubt he's spreading around what he saw._

_And then, when he told me what happened, I couldn't help but know that if we had followed our lead, we might've gotten a Stone and that never would have happened to him. He's already suffered so much, and even without knowing the truth people always look at him strangely. And he can't eat or sleep or dream or feel anything or cry, and then he always has to spend the nights alone. All alone! I'm the big brother! I'm supposed to be the one who takes the hits for the little brother, not the other way around, Win!_

_And look at me! I'm chugging down alcohol, courtesy of my watch, like there's no tomorrow. I thought it might help make me forget, just for a while. I know it's really selfish, and I'm wanting to kill myself for it, but that's not really a first, so who gives a damn?_

_Anyways, the stuff tastes like shit, but it's oddly numbing. I guess it kind of helped a little. Though, I suppose in the morning I'm going to look like the Colonel after a rough night._

_Sorry for being so horrible. I just...I can't forgive myself. There's no excuse for how I've been acting, so I guess I'd better sober up soon and head back to Al. He's been at the spare dorm they gave us since I wanted to go for a walk, and I just can't bear the thought of him sitting up there alone for much longer._

_Sorry, Winry._

_-Ed_

It was then, on the bed, next to a deeply sleeping Ed that Winry decided she needed to talk to her husband about these letters. She was upset and afraid and horribly saddened to know that, even when Edward could have turned to others for help, he was to afraid to tell others about his issues. Hell, he could have called her! But instead he had turned to what would only make things worse.

She could see him now, slouched on a street corner; bottles surrounding the young teen; golden eyes dulled to a lackluster copper as he stared absently out into the dimly lit streets. All alone. Just like always, as he must have thought.

Suddenly overwhelmed that it had even come to that at one point, Winry dropped the scrunched, notebook paper letter on the floor next to her and curled up next to Ed, wrapping her arms around him and breathing him in as tears welled in her eyes. _You stupid boys..I always end up crying for you, since you won't do it yourselves..._

XxXxXxX

If Winry had opened her eyes again, she would have found that Ed had woken up, his sleep-crusted eyes widening when he felt tears penetrate through his fitted, gray shirt. He desperately wanted to know what put Winry in such a state, but decided against moving. From experience, he knew that once he was asleep, Winry expected him to stay asleep.

_Aw, what the hell..._

One muscular arm reached around the mechanic, followed by the other as they both pulled closer together.

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**Until tomorrow!**


	7. Author's Note

**Sorry, but this is just a note.**

**I'm sure you've noticed that my updates have been a bit sporadic, and I apologize. I just wanted to inform you all that, due to not having enough time to write a post every day, I'll be taking a short break to catch up on writing and get some chapters written in advance so I can return to a more structured updating schedule. Since I know you have all been very patient with me, I wanted to include a special treat for you guys after the break. I have a favor to ask:**

**Any suggestions for future chapter subjects would be great and appreciated, so don't hesitate!**

**Thank you all for your follows, reviews, and favorites, and a special thank you to AnimeControl for reviewing every chapter and going beyond this story as well :)**


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